Very very disappointed. I wouldn't mind a woman president, but I don't want her. I know that the process isn't done yet, but I am disappointed.
Also, it's obvious that I fail at socializing. Fail fail fail. And I'm becoming increasingly unable to sleep well.
And I want to go home, but there's no bed there anymore for me. There's a couch, but no bed. Just my aunt and her stupid kid. I shouldn't feel jealous or bad because she's in a bad spot, but she put herself there. And she's taking advantage of my parents like she's done before. And I feel resentful and angry and a myriad of other things. Resentful that while my parents have done a lot for me, it's always with this sense of "You owe us! We're investing in your future so you can take care of us when we can't." With other people they help, it's always "Oh, we won't get anything back from this, but that's okay."
I don't know where to go, where to turn, where to be. I'm having one of those moments where I just want to be gone from here. From this place, this depressing, boring place that has no interest for me. This is why Tacoma/Seattle is ultimately the better place for me. There is actual ART museums, not stupid museums depicting how Montana was tamed by prejudiced and ignorant white cowboys winning against the savage red man. And for once, I realize how much I hate this place. How much I have hated it. I want to go to a place where there is music and multi-nationalities and ART, actual ART and zoo's full of animals, and aquariums and people and culture and LIFE.
I'm so tired of this place. So very fucking tired. Can I stand to wait until July? Truly? I don't know. I may have to.
Also, it's obvious that I fail at socializing. Fail fail fail. And I'm becoming increasingly unable to sleep well.
And I want to go home, but there's no bed there anymore for me. There's a couch, but no bed. Just my aunt and her stupid kid. I shouldn't feel jealous or bad because she's in a bad spot, but she put herself there. And she's taking advantage of my parents like she's done before. And I feel resentful and angry and a myriad of other things. Resentful that while my parents have done a lot for me, it's always with this sense of "You owe us! We're investing in your future so you can take care of us when we can't." With other people they help, it's always "Oh, we won't get anything back from this, but that's okay."
I don't know where to go, where to turn, where to be. I'm having one of those moments where I just want to be gone from here. From this place, this depressing, boring place that has no interest for me. This is why Tacoma/Seattle is ultimately the better place for me. There is actual ART museums, not stupid museums depicting how Montana was tamed by prejudiced and ignorant white cowboys winning against the savage red man. And for once, I realize how much I hate this place. How much I have hated it. I want to go to a place where there is music and multi-nationalities and ART, actual ART and zoo's full of animals, and aquariums and people and culture and LIFE.
I'm so tired of this place. So very fucking tired. Can I stand to wait until July? Truly? I don't know. I may have to.
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